I Hate Sunday Night

I've got this creeping feeling tonight. I used to feel this way when I would have to go to school as a student and as a teacher. It's like I have to stop the vacation and get to work, only now it means that Robert has to go into work tomorrow and I have to deal with both sick children alone. I have all these questions swirling around inside me: Can I do it? Will Hannah eat? What if Noah is sicker tomorrow than today? Will there be a lot more screaming? If everyone wasn't sick we'd spend time with friends playing, eating, hanging out. Normally that friend would be Renee and her three kids Mason, Jakey and Paige. We always have a nice time. This makes me sad. My mood reflects the weather, sunny then cloudy and hey it's sunny again. Oh now it's going to rain and rain hard.

It doesn't help that as I write this the baby is screaming his head off upstairs. Yes he's sick. Yes we do let him cry and fuss to sleep normally and we're doing it now. I feel like I want to cut off my right arm right now to make the baby stop crying and go to sleep. Robert just went up to pat his little bum to let him know that it's okay to go to sleep. It's not working. I think I'd just like to hold him all night and day if I could. But the reality is that both of us would get better sleep if we don't sleep together.