Reality

Before Robert and I ever had children we both had ideas about how we would act as parents. Robert thought that he would be the pushover, while I thought that I would be very much the opposite. The reality is that since I birthed our two babies and became their source sustenance nurturing and nursing them both. I also became much more of a pushover than I ever thought that I would be. I have lots of excuses for my pushover behavior but I really think my best excuse is that I'm so much easier to wear down because I am with our babies/kids day and night and I need a break sometimes. This means that I allow Hannah to eat protein bars for dinner. I take a certain amount of abuse before I start to set better boundaries. I allow Hannah to change her clothes as many times a day as she wants to in hope that she'll tire of it as I do.

Today it meant that when Hannah did her swiping motion at me today because she was angry that her dolly wouldn't sit up straight in the shopping cart. I told her to sit on the 'naughty stair'. When refused, I spanked her. She continued to refuse so I changed my tactics. I tried to give her hugs while I told her it's okay to frustrated. It's okay to jump up and down really fast or go to her room for a break or even play with another doll but it's not okay to hit me. I then took her upstairs for her nap. Of course later today she did more 'swiping' at me and I just ignored it. I just don't want the confrontation at every swipe or scream. I'll try ignoring it for a while and maybe it'll go away. I also took the floppy dolly, Jessica is her name, and put her away for a while. I'll take her out again when the hitting stops.

The reality for me is that if spanking doesn't get me what I need then I need to change tactics. It doesn't mean that I won't spank again it just means it wasn't working this time. Isn't that what parenting is all about?